Monday, November 14, 2005

AWOL and the new Monday Award Show

Well I've been AWOL for the past week, and for that I apologize. The life of a college student is filled with odd events at odd times, and mine is no exception. Well in order to return triumphantly I have created a new segment: The Monday Award Show. I can only hope that somewhere down the road there is a blog called the Mondaypundit. Right- on with the awards:

OMGGMFGOTYOTW Award- (aka the Oh My God Greatest Motherfucking Game of the Year, of the Week Award or the USC-Notre Dame award)- LSU at Alabama AND Auburn at Georgia-These two SEC games were so game-of-the-century spectacular that they have a split title for this award. The drama of the two games intermingled and copulated along with the UF/USC game to spawn an all-day(er) in the SEC. LSU beat Bama in OT(it feels so good to say that) after looking like Tulane in the first half and then LSU circa 2003 in the 2nd. Georgia had the Tigers beat but gave up a horrible 62 yard play on 4th and 10 with less than 2 minutes left. More on that to come.

UCLA Award- (aka Biggest Chokers of the Weak award)- Florida State and Colorado- Both of these teams choked like UCLA this week. FSU was coming off a loss to lowly NC State and needed to beat Tommy B and the Clemson Tigers to regain credibility. Colorado was steadily climbing up the polls in anticipation of a showdown with Texas in the Big XII Championship. Both teams sucked this weekend. FSU got knocked around by Clemson and Iowa State beat up on the Buffs. FSU is out of the talk for the nation's elite and Colorado is a slip up away from a Boulder weekend come December 3.

Psycho Killer Award- (or the Talking Heads award. This one came to me after I was singing these lines in the song "Psycho Killer": "Can't seem to face up to the facts, I'm tense and nervous- I can't relax." This goes to the game and player which made fans the most nervous this week.)- Chris Jackson, LSU at Alabama- I was sure Jackson was going to miss the crucial kicks against Auburn a couple weeks ago. He made them. I was sure he was going to make them against Bama this weekend. He missed them. This game, and more specifically the thought of needing him to tie the game in OT almost gave me a heart attack. Thank you Dwayne Bowe. Thank you.

Charlie Weis Trophy- (Or which coach deserves a $120 Billion, 400 year extension based on the weekend performances of their team)- Steve Spurrier- I couldn't stop laughing whenever the Cocks scored. Seriously I love knowing that Gators fans have to suffer through losing to their own damn guy. He has done the best job of any coach in CFB this year in my opinion and it won't be very long (like next year) before the Cocks are in the SECCG.

Les Miles Trophy- (the Coach most likely to get lynched for his team's performance the previous weekend)- Urban Meyer- If there was one game Gator fans wanted to win, HAD to win: it was the game with the Cock boys. Gator fans had to suffer the downfall of losing to their own damn guy. and I can't get enough of it. C'mon Gator fans: blame it all on ole' Urban.

Jack Black Award- (the Defensive Coordinator of the team who exhibited the most Tenacious D)- Bo Pelini- I'm not a big Pelini guy, but he really made some high quality adjustments on the Defensive side of the ball for LSU. In the second half our defense was simply unstoppable. Tenacious D at its finest for the Tigers in Tuscaloosa.

Led Zeppelin Award- (or the Ronnie Prude Trophy, named in honor of the song "When the Levee Breaks" and Prude's performance at the very end of last year's Capital One Bowl.)- Georgia Defense- Really. How could you let that happen? You had the War Chickens backed up, less than two minutes left, and it was 4th and 10. A 62 yard catch-and-run. Unbelievable. Not only that, you couldn't recover the fumble when they fumbled it away into the endzone. This isn't the first time this has happened- remember the Skyler Green TD when LSU and UGA met in Tiger Stadium in 2003? Come on, make a play.

Matt Leinart Vanity Trophy- (or the player whose performance most deserves Orson to blog about a day in his life)- Kyle Williams- The LSU DT was simply unstoppable against Alabama. He was in the backfield in nearly every play, and beat the OL off the ball on almost every play. He also played team leader by rallying the troops in the locker room at half time. Laron Landry's killer hit on Brodie may get more notice, but it was Kyle Williams who provided most of the stopping in the stopping of the Bama offense.

The Big 6 Award- (the 6 offenses which are revolutionizing football this week)- Louisville, Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Buffalo, and finally the Grambling Tigers and their Rural Central Louisiana Ouachita River Coast Offense


Anonymous Anonymous said...


*crickets chirping*

10:02 AM  

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